I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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