oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
