i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize