HIV tests are more positive than that guy
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
