I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
