Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm having to shit out rocks
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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