so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
