dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
