i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
