Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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