i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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