This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
