I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
