I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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