so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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