i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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