somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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