Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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