Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I touched a dick in church today
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
