He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
