I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
