a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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