I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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