C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
