i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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