In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
