Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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