I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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