you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
