Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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