She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize