Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
