That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
