I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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