I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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