I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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