I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
