I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
two words...techno handjob
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
