I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
