He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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