i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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