If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
