this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
