the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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