based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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