No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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