the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
