i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
