ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
