there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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