let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
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We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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