Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
