we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
