there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
