fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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