you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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