Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
