I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
