did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When are your genitals available?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
