It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
