He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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