"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
