i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this boner is exhausting
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
