dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
